What I did on February 7th, 1999.

I knew I had to do something to impress her. No, not my teacher, but LG, my first crush. Considering that every boy had a crush on her, I needed a way to stand out from the other 13 boys in the class. I wasn’t the best in sports, the cutest, the smartest, the most charming, or funniest at the time. So, I choose the bad boy route. It was my only option.

What can a 7-year-old do to portray a bad boy image to impress a girl? No, I wasn’t going to put glue in her hair, or start a snowball fight by throwing it at her. I had a better idea.

Every day our class walked to the lunch room to get milk for milk break. On the way back, we passed the library, and there was a quick right turn that we had to make to get back to class.

I strategically remembered that I placed myself in the middle of the class line, making sure LG was behind me.

As we walked past the library and the front half of the class line made that right turn, I stopped the back half.

“You guys let’s go to the library,” I whispered.

Naturally, they followed me to the library because I lied to them and said that the teacher said it would be okay if I took them there.

However, I had a trick up my sleeve. We weren’t going to the library, because the door entering the playground was right next to the library. So, I took Lauren G to the swingsets instead.

The whole kicker of this story is that there were probably two other boys and eight girls that I lead on this excursion. This made a great ratio of boys to girl for our seven-year-old playground party.

You would think our teacher found us in less than 30 seconds, but no. We all screamed and played on that playground as if we escaped from Shawshank Prison for ten whole minutes.

I’d like to tell you that LG fell in love with me and we lived happily ever after but, I was the reason why all of those kids got grounded by their parents. Her parents told her to stay away from me because I was a trouble maker.

Now when I look back at it, I should have got her chocolates or flowers or something. But, I was like six so this was the best I could do.



“The Zos Knows”

-David Zosel 

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