Last Friday night, I found myself at the cinema once again. Does not really surprise me by now.  I heard on the radio that Pope Francis from Argentina blessed this film! Now, how badass is that?

Noah is based on the famous biblical story of Noah’s Ark. The movie could have been called Genesis 6-9 cause that is where the story is in The Book of Genesis. Now, being the nerd that I am, I actually read the story of Noah’s Ark on my cell phone before I went to the cinema with my friends.

Biblically speaking, this story is not word for word accurate with what goes on with the film at all. Most people who watch this movie from a religious perspective will not like the film. But, people who watch this from a moviegoers perspective will enjoy the film! Why? Because there just isn’t much that is explained in Genesis 6-9. Noah’s wife didn’t even get a name mentioned in the story! The three sons didn’t have any central roles in the story. There was no old man who was Noah’s grandfather, who lived in a cave! Oh yeah, thank God for Director Darren Aronofsky for writing Emma Watson’s character into the story. No pun intended.

Overall I really enjoyed a lot of things about this movie because this is an excellent storytelling. Director Darren Aronofsky took like 15 pages of scripture from the bible and created a whole story out of it with dialogue. That has to undertake major research!  There was nothing in the story of Noah’s Ark that said that Noah had to fight off all of these sinners, heretics, and people of Cain. We don’t know what Noah said to his son’s about not having kids! But as a filmmaker, that is what you have to do! You have to fill in the blanks! If I didn’t know a damn thing about the story of Noah’s Ark and I wanted to go and see a Russell Crowe movie, then yeah I would have totally bought all of this because it is pretty realistic. That is the whole job of a filmmaker to take the unreal and to make it real. Filmmakers are storytellers, and some storytellers try to be accurate, others try to make you believe that their story is real and some storytellers try to get you to understand what they are showing is the truth through their illusion.

Three Odd Balls
1. Why did Anthony Hopkins over due to his creepiness factor in this film? Every part he was in was totally overdone. Also, you see him like five times in the film, and the first time you see him, you know that he’s been living in a cave for like 150 years and he is all pale and hermit-like. The next time you see him, he is on his death bed pretty much, and he looks like a corpse! Now, the third time you see him, he is tan, white teeth and he is moving around and functioning normally. Those details really bothered me. 

2. I love Jennifer Connelly for some reason. I just really admire her, don’t ask me why. Maybe because there are so many famous “Jennifer’s” out their and she is like the forgotten one. Anyway, she had 3 scenes where she had to stand up to Noah, and Russell Crowe totally overpowered her in her most famous scenes. If I were the director, I would have hired another actress that could have handled Russell Crowe’s screen dominance. OR I would have just said “YO RUSS,” take it easy on her, will ya? Overall, she did an excellent job preparing for this role, considering Noah’s wife had one mention in the Genesis 6-9. She said to interviewers that she met and spoke with archeologists and historians to figure out a voice, manners, and how women would act at the time. Now, maybe that added a lot to her character but Russell Crowe can totally overwhelm you in any scene. 

3. I would just like to point out the outfits in this film. I am pretty sure the women didn’t have symmetrically low cut tops, wearing perfectly fitting long sleeves back then. Oh, and yes, you see all of these nicely put together jackets and backpacks. That really threw me off. I am pretty sure people wore rags and what not… but what do I know.

I love how this film was totally romanticized. How they created magic and explained other stories through visions and showed other creatures, we had never seen before. Like those rock giant things. I thought that was good. Because… how did Now build that big ark without help from anyone besides his family? That is one big Ark? So, I can accept the fact that there were Rock Giants that protected Noah and helped him. 

Let me point out…
Emma Watson, well she is a really ugly crier. Other than that, she did a really excellent job. 

I am no biblical expert, but I think Aronofsky wrote in other parts of the bible to contribute to the story like how the world really was. How there were these civilizations lead by Cain just to emphasize that humans are greedy and that we have power. Whereas, there is Noah who still lives the way that the Creator intended for the world to be lived. This added a lot of conflict in the story. But I really think he could have done more of an emphasis on God or the Creator besides having just visions.

Three and Out. 

1. Again, Russell Crowe. That is all I have to say. Like what do you expect from him? I thought he could have been Noah. His character progression throughout the story was terrific. He slowly went from this prophet, this protector, or this savior to this tortured man who really wanted to follow the creator’s orders. So halfway through the film, you see a complete 180 in his character as he is building the boat. Everyone starts to question his ways and to disagree with him. The book of Genesis didn’t really go into detail of how hard it was for Noah to do this task…. especially cause he was 600 years old. His character progression could have told the story itself. 

2. His second son, Ham played by Logan Lerman gave the story a excellent side route. This was a boy who was old enough to know the difference between being a man and a boy. Now, at this time, meant to have a family is what would make you a man. He was upset that his father had a wife ready for his older brother and not him. So OBVIOUSLY he is going to be upset about it! He goes and runs into the village looking for a girl to save and take her to the ark. During this time, we see that people are naturally good despite their sins and greed. So he brings this girl back, and Noah doesn’t save her at the end of the movie, creating this great tension between Ham and his father. I kind of viewed Ham like Scar from Lion King or Claudius from Hamlet. You know the character in the family who becomes somewhat evil. 

3. People in this movie talked so up close to each other’s faces. This really bothered me cause I couldn’t imagine what their breath’s smelled like back then.