When the nightmare injury of our beloved Teddy Bridgewater occurred prior to 2016’s very promising season for the Viking’s it was inevitable that the Twin Cities most passionately loved sports franchise is cursed. It is official, so accept it.

Every year the same thing happens to me in the following order where I get excited about our draft picks, then the Vikes get off to a good start to the season, and lastly, our heartbreaking Viking’s begin to slip away from any hope of winning the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, we watch the greatest player of all time, Aaron Rodgers and our arch-nemesis, The Green Bay Packers make another Super Bowl run.

As you can see, the Vikings are a manic-depressive tornado. They are not a team that helps ease your mental health if you bleed purple.

I am not the only habitually optimistic one, but I have learned that this team is an impending car crash and us die-hard fans tend to be one of the first ones on the scene.

Last year, I was in Bogota, Colombia when my ESPN app on my phone sent me a notification that Teddy Bridgewater’s leg almost snapped in half.

Teddy was loved by all including the elders, the children, and the new and old generations of our fan’s, who have bled purple since their birth. He was a special brand of quarterback that resonated with our Twin Cities sports market that gave hope to all walks of life for a Super Bowl.

His tragedy added another Viking’s scar on my arms that followed the ’98, 2000 (The Forgotten Season), ’09, and the notorious Blair Walsh missed field goal attempt. This list succeeds all of the previous Viking’s misery that happened before my lifetime. You could technically add the “Great Train Robbery”, where we obtained Herschel Walker in which we resurrected “America’s Team” (Dallas Cowboy’s) from its former glory, but I was just born when that happened.

But, there is great news for you! I have created a full proof system that will not lead the team to drive you insane ever again. With a little determination and self-discipline, you can overcome this impending car crash.

First things first, stop listening to Paul Allen on KFAN. Despite being an elite football mind, his main job is to pump fans up with absurd amounts of optimism to only have to team let you down once again.
When the Vikings go down in defeat, he builds you up again. When they win, he constantly praises the team. Realism and football are synonymous and Paul Allen just isn’t real. I use to be a believer in Paul Allen, following every word that he said. But, he doesn’t help my cause of finding a healthy relationship with my favorite team.

Next, do not listen to press conferences, read articles that are written online by outside sources. Do not pay attention to the NFL power rankings or any matchup analysists that predict outcomes.

Next, we must absolutely stop looking at the spreads that Las Vegas posts. Personally, I buy way too much into this because their predictions are pretty close to the final outcomes of games.

Another approach that you and I can take is by ignoring the entire league around us. This may be difficult because I may be the only one who doesn’t play fantasy football. But still, if you’re a Vikings fan, you are also paying attention to the Packers, Bears, and Lions. That could be six to seven hours of football that could make or break your day depending on the result of the Vikings.

Lastly, stop drinking absurd amounts of alcohol before, during and after the game. I have seen many fan fights in stadiums, tale gaiting, in bars and in the streets because of the result of the game. Also, drinking leads to a major high that leads to hitting a low afterward. Consuming alcohol has its perks, but we all know that it is detrimental to your physical and mental health. Consuming alcohol doesn’t ease the pain for this team or even make any matters better.

The only thing that I will do is to read the Star Tribune. If you stick to this, then you will have a physical copy of Viking’s insight in your hand. This way, there are no voices speaking to you that will influence your mindset going into the next game. The only voice is your’s, who reads the paper which allows yourself to make assumptions versus letting NFL analysts, big media personalities, create opinions for you.

Read what Jim Souhan and Patrick Reusse have to say about the Vikings and their thoughts. These are the last great sports writers in the Twin Cities who know how to tell you how it is versus saying things to get ratings and to stir your emotions.

Reading the newspaper may sound old fashioned but there is something romantic about holding newsprint in your hand while reading the current news of that day. There are no distractions of phone notifications, just the news.

I am just going to read the Star Tribune and I’ll turn on the television on Sunday to watch my favorite team, while I do my laundry and drink my Coca-Cola eating some chips and salsa.

Football is meant to entertain us for the two and a half hours of programming. If there is too much build up and emotional content, it won’t be good for your mental health and with lots of alcohol; your physical health as well.

In conclusion, this may be contradictory because I love the Vikings more than any team. Following this regiment will be an uphill battle to climb for me. But, if you’re a fanatic, that is who you are. I am not trying to change the mindset of the Purple Nation, but this is just my two-bits on how to not get too emotionally involved and torn by this impending plane crash of a team that we have.

Whatever, I am a fanatic and I am going to just do me which is a person who goes absolutely nuts for my team on Sundays.

Skol.

Remember, “The Zos Knows”. 

-David Zosel

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